So, I’m taking a risk by writing this post while still at a conference with people who read this blog. But, I’m going for it (mostly because I need people to tell me if I’m out of sorts!).
Many people here have asked me if I’m “doing okay” – to which, I always have to think, “wait, are you asking because you know about my health issues” or “are you asking because we haven’t seen each other in a while and you’re saying ‘What’s up, Liza?'”
I haven’t lied to you. I’ve been good.
Until this morning.
I actually had to excuse myself from a session — and nearly miss another that I helped to organize — because I bleeding. Again. But this was one of those bleeds where I was like, “Good Lord, I hope no one can see me.” The kind of high school bleed where you end up tying your sweatshirt around your waist and make a run for the nurse’s office. C’mon gals, I couldn’t have been the only one who did the sweatshirt around the waist trick, right? (right??) Regardless, that time I pulled that -ish was 22 years ago.
Right after it happened, I immediately emailed my medical team.
They immediately responded.
“Let’s try a new medication, Liza. This time, let’s try a patch while you’ll have to take concurrently with progesterone pills.” Sigh. Another round of wait-and-see.
I am hating life post-oophorectomy.
I am loving life without cancer; but hating it post-oophorectomy.
I hate carrying a laptop bag full of maxi-pads instead of actually carrying a laptop.
I hate carrying an extra pair of underwear tucked strategically in a pencil case in case my bag tips over in the middle of a conference session and exposes my brand new Hanes brand, pastel colored briefs.
I hate focusing on what’s going on with my body instead of letting my mind get filled with discussions about higher education, equality, access, equity and the lives of people I seek to serve.
I’m not fully here because my body isn’t fully whole.
In the meantime, there is nothing to do but make sure my cute outfit stays clean (ahem, this is where you all have permission to hook me up if you are at this conference and let me know if I’m a hot mess!!). I kid you not.
I get off the plane late Sunday night and head into Mass General Hospital early Monday morning for a battery of tests and a new round of medication to try.
Please keep me — and my outfits — in your prayers.
Peace, love, and staying fly,