TITTILATED

I couldn’t resist….

After feeling totally blah about my bra experience, I decided to do something fun and a different. In the mastectomy-world, women often talk about what they look like after losing their, well, their more “colorful” parts. My breasts — or “breast mounds” as they are sometimes referred to — are a blank canvas, with the exception of a pair of scars extending across my chest.

Some women just leave it as is – battle shields of courage. One the other side of the spectrum, some women surgically have nipples created (a couple of different ways) and have areolas tattooed to return to some familiar looking breasts.

Though I am no stranger to tattooing, the sensation of needles repeatedly jabbing into my skin so soon after surgery was of no interest to me.

Also a mastectomy warrior, a woman named Elizabeth started an organization called Tattooed Nipples. She knew that this struggle was going on in the community, and she created “Temporary Tattoo Nipples.” Yo. I even got to pick a shade that matched my original goods. That was pretty bad@ss.

I have been trying to decide whether or not to tattoo my breasts. I’m pretty sold on the idea, and I am so thankful for Elizabeth for guiding me to her site. The temporary tattoos are amazing! I am so incredibly thankful to have this opportunity.

My package arrived today and I immediately shuffled the children in front of the television so I could have a few minutes of peace and quiet (I will not be winning any parenting awards, I know). I laughed out loud once I opened the package: they are just like the “heart” or “Jonas Brothers” or “Hello Kitty” temporary tattoos my kids beg me to buy while waiting in line at the grocery store.
Same deal — cut to fit, remove plastic cover, place on body, use a wet towel and press on for 30 seconds. Peel off carefully.

Positioning was the strangest of the processes. C’mon – 3 breastfed children and 50 lbs, my original art work faced downwards. Now, with new tiny perky boobs, I was told they are supposed to point “forward”. Heh heh heh. This may only be hilarious to me…

I positioned the temporary tattoos at the front of my breast — a place they had never been for more than a decade. Waited 30 seconds. Peeled the backing off.

Just before I fully removed the backing, I imagined myself cheering, crying tears of joy, and, like the movie, exhaling. Instead, the sound of “eh?” rang in my ears.

It just looked so different. So strange. So, wrong.

I wanted so badly to take them off. I wanted to return back to myself; my breasts with scars. Seeing my breasts like this, as natural and beautiful as the temporary tattoos are, was unfamiliar to me. It has only been 8 weeks.

I committed to leaving them on — after all, they stay on for 2 weeks (though they can be removed anytime). I went along with my usual evening routine of making dinner, getting the kids ready for bed, and tidying up the house.

And, as I changed into my pajamas, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror — tattooed breasts and all.

And, I exhaled.

Peace, love, and understanding the familiar,

Liza

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3 Responses to TITTILATED

  1. Jennifer says:

    Nice that you are able to find an option that brings you one step closer to feeling normal again (whatever normal is). Checked out the site and holy cow, the permanent tattoos look so real! So glad to see that they partner with FORCE.

    Thanks for continuing to share your story with such honesty and bravery…

  2. Tamara says:

    Wow Liza. Never even thought about this before. I can imagine myself giggling while putting the tattoos on my girls. I am once again astounded by your strength and courage.

  3. Meredith says:

    If you decide to go the permanent tattoo route, I think you have a rare opportunity to mix things up a little: green spirals? Purple pastie-style stars? Those rhinestone-crystal glue-on design things?

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