I’ve been feeling really dizzy lately. I’m trying to figure out if it’s just readjustment back from vacation (after all, lounging around for 7 days and returning to a go-go-go job would make anyone’s head spin!), if it’s anxiety, or if it’s something actually physically wrong. I have a pre-op call with the nurse tomorrow, so I’ll ask her if it doesn’t clear up by tomorrow.
Thinking it might just be anxiety, I asked my friend Steph H at Goodbye to Boobs what she felt like 9 days prior to her mastectomy. Steph says she felt Zen-like. I’m trusting that I get there – probably around Countdown Day 1!
Having lost a week — in a good way — to vacation, I also realize I lost a week of my Type A planning. So, I decided to visit my checklist and see where I’m at 9 days before surgery. Here we go:
Liza’s Mastectomy To Do List (and status thus far)
- Pray (happening more often now)
Run 2 Half Marathons (done!) Lose weight (never happened)
- Write about it honestly (despite being called “egoistic” on a newspaper site, still doing it!)
Ask for help (and ye have received) Family photos (done – thank you Jess at Boston Baby Photos) Be inspired and inspire others (inspired DAILY by friends and family) Laugh more (lots of events coming up with funny friends!) Cry when I feel like it (happening whether on a checklist or not!) Learn more (thank you FORCE) Make friends with others (a newspaper article recently connected me with other BRCA women)
- Make friends with myself
Talk about it with my children (they know it’s coming)
- Clean and organize the house (largest item on the checklist right now)
Put away the summer clothes and get out the winter clothes (done) Make sure house things are done (calendar and schedule done) Buy cute pajamas that button in front and can hang my drains (will do)
my hair cut, colored, andeyebrows waxed (hair done; face, not done) Get all the normal doctor’s appointments in (eye doctor, dentist, get new glasses) – urgh. never happened. no time. Get all the mastectomy doctor’s appointments in (done) Inform the kids’ teachers and school (done) Get work stuff in order and plan for my medical leave (done) Call health insurance and try to anticipate the cost ( some say anywhere between $0-$2000 out of pocket, depending on insurance coverage) – done
Spend pre-surgery time with the family doing something fun (done!) Buy underwear (done) Go grocery shopping and stock up on basic supplies Get legal documents in order (it’s nice having lawyer friends!) Write out the family calendar of daily activities and special events FIND GUEST BLOGGERS (I won’t be able to nor interested, possibly, in writing just after surgery… message me if you want to guest blog!) Accept that this is a no-brainer, but an all-hearter. (added): Buy pillows (recommended by post-mastectomy friends) (added): Winterize the house
- (added): Clean/vacuum my car
(added): Still need to drive to Boston to do a few pre-op tests! (added): Go BOWLING! (added): Neilsons’ Faux Thanksgiving Celebration (added): Run 8 miles on Sunday (turned into a phlegmy 3.2 mile walk) (added): Get a massage to try and relax just before mastectomy
- Finalize the “house responsibilities” schedule and list
So, with 9 days left to go, the checklist has been whittled away. I still have some major things to get done, and I feel like I’m running out of time. But, I trust that I’ll find a way somehow!
What I’m trying to plan – in the flurry of checklist and daily tasks – is some mental relaxation time. On the first day of my vacation, I woke up in the middle of the night unable to breathe. I, of course, had not packed my inhaler (which I only need to use a few times a year), and my husband had to rush to a Medical Center and pick one up for me. I’m still sleepless at night and find myself both exhausted and frantic during the day.
Is it still considered nesting when your pregnancy is a mastectomy?
Peace, love and trying to keep it together,