Last semester, I planned a program to screen the documentary “In the Family”, the story of Joanna Rudnick, a 31 year old woman, who had just found out she was BRCA +. As I have been speaking to cancer classes for the past few years, I felt very comfortable taking the next step in my public journey and decided to do a campus wide program about it.
The documentary has been on the calendar for months now. In fact, it even goes a bit more personal to say that there would be a “facilitation of a post-movie discussion by Liza Talusan.” I felt ready. I felt fine.
Now, with all of the very real emotions of publicly committing to having the mastectomy, I’m scared. With the emotions of Richard’s decline, Mamie’s goodbye, and the hormonal end of breastfeeding, I’m a wreck. I’m watching it now, passively, on my computer and have left my office door open so that I can be distracted by the movement and energy in the lobby.
Tomorrow should be interesting. I’m hoping to muster up the courage to actually speak and facilitate (as promised) a discussion about having this type of knowledge. “If you could find out if your body was a ticking time bomb, would you want to know?”
Thanks for the words of encouragement and support, everyone. This time around has been harder to shake off. I’m off for the first run in over a month with Christina, and hoping the endorphines help to make difference!
Peace, love, and knowledge,